I have been trying to put together this piece for a while, and it looks like now is the time. Where do I start? Probably with a question: Which is your favorite city? Isn’t that a bit general? Let me rephrase: Which city out of the ones you have lived in stands out on your list? I have my answers but am still on a quest for the reasons.

I grew up until I was six in Adoor at my mom’s residence. Am I fond of this place? Not the place as a whole, but I am in love with the memories associated with it—from my grandma’s kitchen to my grandpa’s clinic, from our red-colored gate to Ravathar’s Kada (shop), on the way the smell of rubber sheets from Baby Uncle’s house, wishing to stop at the ice factory for some sip-up (only possible if my cousin Mittu was around), the flowers we collected to take to church, walking through the rubber plantations, where my grandpa would securely hold my wrist and say “Priya kutta sookshich” (Be careful, “kutta” is an affectionate way of addressing a dear one), the excitement of going with Amma to Chandras Tailors and Lissy Aunty’s shop for buying clothes, holding hands and walking with my grandparents to Shobas, walking with my cousin Melvin through the alleys of the ice factory (in fact, the shortcut to reach the Milma store next to the market), where the shop owner would ask “Doctored e Kochumol ano?” (Are you the granddaughter of Doctor Mathukutty?). These are just a few examples, but I can say it is the presence of my grandparents and the memories around them that make the place stay in my heart. I have very little association with my Appa’s hometown (Padalam); however, I have several specific memories there too (the Kottanikal Veedu)—memories primarily associated with smells and some spatially, from the smell of chikku and lavalolika, the darkness of the nadumuri (room in the center), the unused courtyard, the smell of the wood, and of course, the Royal Enfield that was parked inside the house (as my dad was abroad).

I moved to Kozhikode/Calicut afterward. I still haven’t developed a deep fondness for the place; maybe my sister can relate to it more. However, again, my memories are revolving around people and, of course, our house “Kerith,” which we built in 2010.

The next city, Thiruvananthapuram (Trivandrum), now holds a special place in my heart. I spent 8 years living in this city. My fondness for this place seems to be a hereditary transfer; my dad also spent nearly 9 years here and had a similar affection. My first solo travel after graduating from school was to Trivandrum. I then began my 5 years of Architecture studies at the College of Architecture Trivandrum. Over those five years, every nook and corner of Trivandrum became familiar, and I would still love to continue learning and unlearning about this place. In the early days of my stay in Trivandrum, I used to go to Bakery Junction just to have the cold coffee from Ambrosia, then come to Statue Junction and walk to my aunt’s house (Ammachi’s house). Later, I started to explore the city by walking from Palayam to Eastfort, and Eastfort to Thycaud. I never had any particular hangout spot with my friends, but the MG Road stretch was something we all loved hanging out on. After completing my bachelor’s, I decided to apply for a master’s immediately and got into the College of Engineering Trivandrum (CET). This part of the city then became a fondness for me, with the mixed crowd at Sreekaryam stretch, the endless queue at Pradeepettan’s print shop, the political banners around, and the strong coffee with my friends after college. Trivandrum became even more memorable with additions like charcoal shawarma, Paul’s Creamery, movie nights, and drives filled with nonstop talking with “Bayya” (who could be considered my local guardian). There is not a single time I had to leave Trivandrum without him safely dropping me at the bus stand or railway station. Towards the end of my Master’s course, I received a call from JK Sir to be part of CAT, which was my bonus to stay in Trivandrum again. I continued staying in Endura (6H), where I met my dearest Asha. We bonded over “F.R.I.E.N.D.S”; she is a vegetarian, and I’m a pure non-vegetarian, but we explored every possible cuisine. However, Fab Cafe and Cafe Mojo remained our favorites. The place becomes even closer to your heart because of the memories created with these people, adding color because a few of my friends from my master’s program stayed back in Trivandrum.

Sometimes I wonder, why do you feel safe in a city? Is it the city itself or the presence of a dear friend? For me, apart from my family, there are people whose presence made me stay back, come back, and love a city. During the COVID period, like many others, I had to move back to my hometown, which turned out to be some of my best days in Kozhikode. In 2021, I moved to Bangalore (“Bangalore, what a rocking city yaar” – as said by DQ in Bangalore Days). The city is not unfamiliar but still new to me. I was initially stuck and clueless, but over time, I overcame this cluelessness. Being away from home and living alone, it was important for me to feel safe. The presence of my very close friend Vinay in the city made it easier for me. I often told him, “Dude, it’s just a sense of you being somewhere in the city that makes me feel safe.” This could be due to the childhood familiarity and bond we share. However, my friend circle grew, and I began to love not just Bangalore but “Ka-Manhattan” (Kamanhalli), for once again, the people. But here’s the challenge: Do I love Ka-Manhattan for the people or the place? Are my memories dear because of C-260, 302, or E-618? Definitely, yes, but for the first time, a place also felt like a companion. I used to take walks along CMR Road, stop by Paperback, the bookstore, and simply walk around the street just to embrace some joy. At this point, I even started to enjoy the traffic. For me, if Trivandrum moulded me, Bangalore helped me evolve. However, the journey doesn’t stop; I moved to Mysore in 2023.

What does this city have to offer me now? I did not come for the love of the city but for my work. The only familiarity is “Annachi,” who makes the city interesting for me. But this city is making me ponder a lot. After my shift, I was gifted the book Lonely City by Olivia Laing by my friend Priya (in fact, we picked this book together, but she didn’t give it to me at that point, as she wasn’t sure if the book would be a good companion because I was unsettled in Mysore). Later, she gifted the book to me in December 2023. Strangely, the book started to reflect my write-up during the COVID days (a few months I was lonely in Bangalore). I haven’t found a fondness yet, but there are acquired familiarities, with CCBC being one. I mostly visit CCBC every morning for dosa and chutney, and the daily encounters with people there make us smile at each other. It has reached a point where they know my order without me asking. Corner House is slowly becoming a place of interest, and my newfound liking for vada pav at Mumbai Chai and Snack (ironically in Mysore) is another development. The city is also giving me time to consider movies as a companion (playing over and over a few of my favorites), bringing back my old playlist, and watching certain series I watched a long time ago, trying to understand why I watched them then and why I watch them now. The city is making me realize the importance of many dearly loved ones. Life in the city is also awakened due to some very long phone conversations I’ve had with a few of my friends (which is unusual for me).

What do I look forward to in this city? Is it still a “stranger in the city” moment, or have I settled? One thing I know is that the presence of certain people makes a place likable and gives you a sense of comfort. There are a few who are making me like this city as well (in fact, I shared this with a dear friend today). However, I feel a city becomes a place of fondness when it accepts you, embraces you—not just the people but a sense the city gives you to let yourself be. I’m still in search of that missing puzzle in the jigsaw.

Why do you connect to certain cities and not to others? Is it the people you associate with, or is there a certain quality the place offers? Is it the smell or color? Is it the smiles and chats? Is it the big alphabets and noisy posters? Is it the music and cuisine? Is it just a particular old bookstore? Is it your childhood?

Why do you remember the details of a place?

I am writing this probably because of my curiosity in searching for the meaning of “place.” I hope to figure it out in the coming months and continue this write-up.